Dr. Bülent URAN

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AKIŞTA OLMAK 8

EGO STRENGTHENING

The ego has many definitions, some of them not very nice. It is
often said that arrogant and narcissistic people are egocentric,
egotistical, or ego-centered. On the other hand, timid people are
said to have a weak ego. In some theoretical systems, especially
spiritual ones, the ego is considered the enemy, to be subdued,
brought under control, or even obliterated.

So if we're going to discuss the ego, it is important to "define
your terms". I'm going to use the term "ego" to simply denote
the "sense of self". A strong well-adjusted person has a stable
grounded realistic nurturing loving sense of self. A weak person
has an unstable weak self-critical sense of self.

From this point of view, a timid shy person would qualify as "weak
ego". But the arrogant and narcissitic person is really weak as
well, as he or she does not have a stable grounded realistic sense
of self either.

Using this theoretical concept then, anybody who comes for therapy
needs ego strengthening, as it is their need for a stable grounded
realistic nurturing loving sense of self that has brought him or her
to you.

Ego strengthening is, therefore, the process of using a hypnotic
process to help the client's ego structure become more stable,
grounded, realistic, nurturing, and loving. This is easily done
through specific forms of direct suggestion, provided that any
blocks to acceptance have been removed.

That last statement "provided that any blocks to acceptance have
been removed" is really important. One of the reasons that direct
suggestion hypnotists don't always get results is that they have not
always removed the blocks to acceptance.

An NLP Practitioner has many tricks up his sleeve for the removal of
blocks. Everything in the NLP arsenal really assists in this
purpose. If you have successfully "dissolved the obstacles" (step 6
in our theoretical model above), then you have opened the door in
the client's mind to an improved concept of self.

You have only to "bypass the critical factor" (or as we have
explained, get rapport) and implant the suggestions, and the ego
strengthening is done.

Since you already have rapport, any kind of trance induction will
do. I prefer Milton Model patterns and Ericksonian sensory
awareness because they work so well, but your favorite induction
would be the ticket for you.

Once the client is in trance, fill him or her up with several
minutes of positive suggestions, such as "You have all the resources
you need to achieve your goals…You do everything you need to do to
achieve your goals…You get all the ideas you need to achieve your
goals…You are strong…You are powerful…You are successful in every
way."

In other words, you've prepared the way, dissolved the obstacles,
and opened the door, now "pour it on". Now is the time to leave the
client floating three feet off the ground, feeling so good about
himself that he knows also how good you are, how good the therapy
is, and how good a decision it was for him to come see you.

We record this on a CD and tell the client to play it regularly
until the next session, daily if possible. Clients who do this
almost always report magnificent results. And they REALLY look
forward to playing this CD.

I recently had a woman call telling me I would receive a call from a
referral. And she ended up the call by saying "Thanks so much for
helping me quit smoking. You saved my life. And I play your tape
every day, and I so much look forward to that, because it makes me
feel so good."

That kind of client is a built in marketing machine for you. You
couldn't pay someone any amount of money to put together advertising
that would deliver the same marketing as just a few moments of that
client talking to a friend about "you should really go see him".

That's the value of ego strengthening. Not only does it make the
client feel wonderful, but it pays off in the pocketbook as well.

So investigate the world of ego strengthening. If you haven't tried
it, begin to incorporate it in your sessions, and see what kind of a
difference it makes. You'll be glad you did!

 


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